Clyde's Story

But there was always a feeling of sadness underneath the wagging tails, smiling woofs and comical meows, for all that each of us wanted was to go home, to a real home, somewhere we could love and be loved. That is why we are here on earth; we companion animals of the world... just for the humans... to love them... to share their love... no matter what! It is our responsibility and our contribution to humanity, and it brings us more joy and happiness than words could ever describe.

I waited for 6 months to be welcomed home by someone, but no one chose me. Sad and scared, I wondered if I would be in the shelter forever. Then one day, the shelter humans told me a lady was coming from far away just to see me! She had seen my picture in one of the adoption flyers sent to the veterinarian offices. I was so excited, but also apprehensive, for what if she didn't like me? What if, yet again, I was turned down? I don't think my heart could take another rejection, for it is really hard for some of us. Many take it all in stride and keep jumping and hoping, barking and wagging, meowing and purring, but not me, I felt very insecure and found it hard to believe in myself because so many times I tried so hard to show newcomers how much I could love them, but it never seemed to matter. The shelter humans appreciated me, but none of the potential adopters saw the real me. The deep love I had to give remained untapped and I buried it deeper and deeper under layers of hopelessness and despair.

The day Cynthia arrived was a very busy day at the shelter with lots of people there to look at the four-legged creatures. There was excitement in the air! Weekends were generally like that and although I was encouraged, I admit, my fear of rejection was too great. When the time came, they called out to me "Heinz! it's your turn now!" and I tried so hard to be happy and hopeful putting out the energy families want to see in a potential canine member, but truth is, my insecurities won out. When my handler took me to the reception room my head sank low and I felt TERRIFIED!

Just knowing she was there for me would have been enough for most any of the other dogs to come out charging, head high, tongue dangling, smiling and barking. But not me. Ever fearful of continued loneliness, knowing Cynthia was there only increased my insecurities and my great desire to love and be loved. I could feel her, standing there, very still, her eyes on me, waiting to see.

It felt like eternity, yet a million thoughts raced my mind in a heartbeat. So much fear, fed by the relentless voice in my mind telling me that no one wanted me, that I was doomed to a life of being alone. It was all I deserved. I was not worthy of real love and happiness. Oh the desperation I felt! Yet at the same time, a tiny voice in my heart kept telling me to look up... encouraging me... gently nudging me... look up, she's right there! Just for a second... do it! I was fighting that voice. I was so sure of the rejection I didn't even want to try and see what she looked like, but there was no choice for my handler gave me a gentle tug and I HAD to look up...

I lifted my eyes for a single moment so she could see me, but my heart was crying that she would not want me and already I was feeling the sadness of being a lost cause, doomed to shelter life, alone, scared and never finding my true self. And then, something magical happened! She looked right into my heart. She saw how scared I was and it didn't matter! In fact, I felt her love, so great, so sure, so determined!

She wanted me! I could see it and feel it all the way down to my claws! It was a moment of real connection, of true love, a combining of hearts and minds that set a course in action. A course that would change both of our lives in ways we never expected.

Her immediate concern was to get me home. I was so happy! I couldn't believe it at first! She was not alone. She had brought "Shana," her very large and quite regal, female German Shepherd and a special human friend, Ray, who was visiting from his home in Nevada.

I liked Ray. I could tell that he loved dogs and Ray liked me immediately! He took my leash from Cynthia and the four of us walked in the grey drizzling rain. Cynthia knew what a queen Shana was, so her concern was that Shana would reject me, I sensed that in the way we canines know how to communicate with each other, and submitted. I let Shana know I was not competition, just a new friend and brother! She accepted me, not just because I would not challenge her role, but because she seemed to understand on some intuitive level that I was meant to be a part of this family. She even allowed me to lie across the entire back seat of the car for the long drive home. Many hours in pouring rain and darkness in endless traffic, Shana sat head held high, out the back window, soaking wet behind Cynthia's head as I took up most of the seat, snoring away, my legs hanging in front of me like limp noodles.

I was soo tired! The angst I felt the many previous days dreading rejection, left me with sleepless nights of worry and concern. My exhaustion irresistible, I immediately began snoring when my head lay on the seat. I delighted in dreams of a new, exciting life!

We made a couple of stops on the way so we could do "business." Shana with Cynthia and me with Ray. After the second stop, I heard Ray tell Cynthia as I was falling asleep yet again, "Cynthia, this is not a 'Heinz'... this is a 'CLYDE'!" I smiled to myself as I dreamed of being Clyde, in a new home, with my special human and a new canine sister. Someone finally sees me for who I am!

And so I was named... and it suited me! I was happy and silly and still very insecure and shy, but one day when Cynthia was playing piano, I heard the beginning notes of Bach and they touched my heart in a way I'd never felt before. I was sleeping under the piano at the time... my favorite place, for it kept me out of Queen Shana's path!

I threw my head back and howled, big and bold, and voiced it over and over again. Cynthia and Shana were enchanted with my voice! As was I. I had no idea how much I loved Bach! Over time we discovered that I also enjoyed singing to blues scales and jazz.

A year later, it was time for Shana to leave us very unexpectedly, she made her trip Somewhere Over Rainbow Bridge, to wait for us for when it is our time to join her. Cynthia was so sad, she cried for a week and it was a really a hard time for her. She and Shana were so close, like one being. I knew it was time for us to focus on our mission. I made a commitment that day while riding home in the car from the shelter. I had a dream of doing something to help those who, like me, had no voice and were forgotten.

This seemed the perfect time. Cynthia needed something to hope for and look forward to. She had written a wonderful song about Shana and the love they shared. It gave me an idea. Why not collaborate and write some songs that dogs and humans everywhere could share and laugh and sing and howl together! We then would sell them, along with clothing and greeting cards and use the profits to build and sustain a unique healing community for animals and humans... Clyde's Sanctuary.

That was the seed from which my company "ClydeMania!" was born.

We put our heads, tails, woofs and words together to compose lots of fun tunes and to create a new type of corporation. One that is built on a community, sharing, and giving service to the many animals and children we want to assist. Unfortunately, I became ill and lost my voice before we finished and I seemingly aged overnight. It changed things.

The new dimension created over the past couple of years embraces all animals in America in the formation of the first Official National Canine Can-Do Party. It is my dream to help campaign and elect a dog for President in 2012. The official headquarters will be located online as a new type of social website where Americans favorite creature companions and their special humans can share their voice and opinions and have some fun doing it!

So here I am, ClydeMania Executive Officer of my very own unique company, ClydeMania! where "It's About Love" for the animals, humans, our earth... all living beings! My Love Campaign is about building this company and using its profits from the sales of our original music, Clyde Wear wearing apparel for dogs and people, greeting cards to assist others by constructing and sustaining Clyde's Sanctuary.

Help us spread the love! We will build Clyde's Sanctuary with novel assistance to help terminally ill animals and children, senior companion animals and others. Wear our Clyde Wear "Love Coats" proudly because canines know this to be true... we are all about LOVE!

Tell the world you are a LOVE DOG! Remind the humans of why we are here. Help them smile and feel love in their hearts. Encourage it to radiate everywhere, to everyone. Help us build a new type of community where humans and companion, farm, and wild animals live and work together for a common cause... love.